Hopeful but frustrated!!!

[Kylie]

Hi, I'm new to the whole forum idea, but I was looking for a place to vent and hopefully find some hope. My husband have been trying for a couple of years and I have been put into the box of unexplained infertility. We have had several attempts of AI and clomid, now I am thinking about the IVF track.

Everyone keeps telling me to stop thinking about it and it will happen. But how do you forget when it is all that u want. I am reminded by it every single day. I am a midwife. I love my job and seeing the joy women and their family have when their new baby is born. But to top it all off my 2 closest friends are both expecting their first babies. I am happy for them but can't help but feel jelous. Then I feel bad for feeling jelous. I have even had to come to the point of cancelling things with them because I just can't take it.

My husband and I have had all the tests and we are both Ok. Before I met my husband he had a child, this is hard and I can't stop but feel that the infertility is somehow my problem.

We are changing our life soon. We have bought a buisness in another town and are packing up our lives for a sea change. Hopefully this might help, I can only hope.

[Sarah_84 Admin]

Hi Kylie and welcome! I completely understand what you're going through. You can see from my signature that I did clomid and AI (IUI) as well. It's such a long and slow process especially when things aren't working. Moving on to IVF was the best move that I've made so far. I've also had plenty of people tell me to relax, take a holiday, stop thinking about it and so on. I know they mean well but it's so frustrating because no matter how you explain it, they dont get that it's a medical issue and a holiday won't fix it. I would've fallen pregnent about 4 times by now if that was the case. I just say now that relaxing isn't going to make my cysts and scar tissue go away. That usually makes them stop and think.

Don't feel bad for feeling jealous. It is completely normal and everyone going through this feels that way at one time or another. Most people will understand and let you have time to yourself, if you feel that there's an issue there just explain to them what you're going through and that if you're having a bad day that you just need some time out. I've only had one friend that I've had to spell it out for (in a nice way) and once I did she was completely understanding and things have been great since. Sometimes people that haven't gone through this just don't stop and think about what it'd be like.

I'll be thinking of you and hoping everything goes well. Wishing you all the best. xoxoxo